What's wrong with me??

I really want to be positive and have a better outlook on things but lately that's just not happening. I'm just so overwhelmed by everything and no matter how much time I use trying to sort it all out, I can't. I don't even know where to start. Not to mention my health hasn't been what it should in some time now and that doesn't make matters any easier. Today I've just felt like crap. From headaches to being hot for no reason to dizziness, etc. I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever feel like a normal person again! I'm gonna stop being such a downer now... Not like anyone cares to read this to begin with.

Ughh... MEN!

Prepare for another rant... This time, it's my wonderful husband. Ughhh!

I swear, I love the man with all my heart but damn... would it kill him to help me around here?! Obviously so. *rolls eyes* I ask him to do the simplest of tasks and he will do ANYTHING to put them off! He has managed to put off picking up the clothes he has trailed around this place for the past 3 days I've asked (that's not counting the past month many of them have been laying in the guest room.) And he has managed to put off washing dishes for God knows how long. I finally washed them myself and then asked him to do the few that were in there the next day so they wouldn't pile up again... yeah, 4 days later and they're piled up. He keeps telling me "I'll do them after..." insert whatever excuse you please there because I'm sure he's used it. Hair cut, this show, this game, grocery store, coming to see me at work, going to the bathroom, supper is cooked... the list continues. I mean, really?! It was only a few cups and maybe a bowl or two... nothing major. The boy is killing me! But at least now I'm done with that dreadful job of mine for a little while so I can get this crap done myself. I feel it's unfair that I'm always left to do it but at least when I'm not working, the playing field is a bit more level. I guess. *sigh*

So yeah... that's my rant for the day. I know it's pretty typical of men not to help out around the house but dang... come on! Why must we be left to do it all?! It'd be different if I was a stay-at-homer with nothing better to do all day but I have worked EVERY day for the past 2 weeks! I asked these things of him while he had time off. Sheesh!

Baby Rant

Today I seem to be in rare form and my topic of choice is this recent baby boom we're experiencing. I found out once again, someone is pregnant. That makes.... oh, I lost count after a million. No, seriously though, it's getting rather ridiculous. I mean, winter wasn't even that cold this year! And all this baby talk has almost (ALMOST!) given me baby fever. That is knocking on the door of a miracle if you know anything about me. See, me and my husband have this understanding. We don't want kids. At least not for a decade or so. I'm not sure I want his kids anyway... no offense, babe! But he was a handfull as a child. As most boys are. I keep saying that no matter how good of a kid I was (and I was an angel, of course) it's not going to balance out just how bad he was. Shoot, I'm still having to raise him! And babies are great but I don't know if anyone has noticed yet, but those turn into teenagers with time. Just saying!

On a serious note though, I'm not ready for a kid. I'd like to spend a while just being me and him. We just got married after all! I never understood that trend where people get married and immediately start trying to have a baby. I like the idea of if just being us for now and being able to go and do as we please without having to find childcare. That's another thing that gets me. People who have babies and then drop them off with whoever so they can do what they want. I'm sorry, but you had the baby.. you should be responsible for that and give up your personal life for their wellbeing. That's not to say that I don't think parents should have a personal life but isn't part of being a parent, making the child your life to an extent? I know people who drop their kids off with someone every time the opportunity arises. Just so they don't have to deal with it. That's not right in my eyes. But that's another rant for another time. Moving on...

Point of the matter is, I'm happy for those who are pregnant and wish them the best. I hope no one takes this the wrong way. But in my own opinion, regarding my own life, I'm not at that point yet. I want to spend at least a few years with my husband traveling and spending money on the things we want without a care in the world (well, other than bills and the other adult things, of course.) I want to get a good feel for married life before adding other things to the mix. I want to let this time be about us for now because when a baby is in the picture... it's all about them and honestly, we're a bit selfish haha. Hey, I'm being honest! I really feel for those who never got that chance. You know, the ones that had the "opps" pregnancy and was kinda pushed into it before they were ready. It really forces you to grow up and you lose out on the opportunity to have the marriage before the family. Anyway, I think I have beyond made my point in this post and hope no one holds it against me. After all, this is just MY opinion on the matter and would like to invite anyone who has a strong opinion on it to feel free to add it in the comments.

Catch Up

Let me start by apologizing (for the millionth time, I'm sure!) for being MIA around this blog. I used to be so much better at this... *sigh* Please forgive me! Life has been intense lately.

I got a job at GNC back in May and since then, lost most forms of a personal life. See, I have been the only employee, other than the manager, so I get all kinds of hours. Usually around 38ish. The money is good and the work is fairly easy but I'm not so sure I agree with many things I'm expected to do. Therefore, I have put in my notice and Monday of next week will be the last day for me. I hate quitting but I promise, I have my reasons and they are something I strongly believe in so it's for the best. I would share my opinions on this whole situation here but I honestly don't have anything against the company itself, it's just not the right job for me.

Moving on.

So because of the time I've spent at GNC, I have pretty much missed out on most of my summer and rarely see my husband. We work complete opposite shifts. I get home from work a hour after he leaves for work, he gets home from work hours after I go to sleep, I get up to go to work while he's still asleep and he wakes up usually a couple hours after I've been gone. Yep- it's been lovely. I could probably count on one hand how many hours we have actually spent together. But, it does make that time a little more special, at least.

I'm hoping once I get this last week over, I'll be able to visit my family and friends for a week or so before school starts. And maybe have a little bit of a summer as well. My classes will be starting mid-August so I don't have much time but I'll work it out.

In other news, my best friend is getting married! I'll be the maid of honor... so excited! I'm also going to be the god-mother early next year... yep! =) So happy for her! I feel rather bad about the fact I have been a lousy MOH since I've been stuck working all the time. They even had to get my dress and things without me so I hope it fits. So yeah, when I head home... I'm going to devote a chunk of that time to helping her out with anything that's left and kissing butt for not holding up my part of things.

Recently I got a new piercing, as well. =D LOVE IT! Microdermals in my sternum area. I found the most amazing piercing shop and was bitten once again by the bug so I had to get something. Let me see if I can figure out how to add a picture here...

Got it! So yeah, there's a picture of my new lovely additions! =)) My mom is gonna have a fit but oh well.. sorry!

Uhhmm... I feel like I'm leaving out so much but I hate to over-do it on one post. The main thing I've been doing lately is working so other than boring you with the daily workings of that... you get the gist of things.

So I am going to do my best from here out to update this as often as possible, ok?? Someone hold me accountable, please!

Much love,
-Kaicey

Disappointing

So it has been quite a while and things have definitely changed. For the better? I'd like to think so but some days, I have to wonder. The most major of changes would be the fact that I got married and moved to be with my Air Force husband. It is great being able to be together again but it is hard being away from my family and friends back home, I must admit. Even harder is being somewhere you don't know anyone with no idea how to meet anyone. It's bringing back a lot of my depression. I feel pathetic sitting here day in and day out. No job, no friends, no purpose. I could at least be a decent homemaker but even that seems to be too much for me. I wish I could at least be going back to school but spring semester is well into session so I wont be able to start til fall. I seem to have no motivation anyway. I've lost interest in so many things over the past couple of years and there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel. This isn't how I pictured my life at this point. It seems all the things I dreamed of my life being have been so opposite.

Funny, I thought getting all this out of my system would help but it really isn't...